All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 22: Everybody Dance!

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is Chapter 15.)

Oh noes, Raelda and Selinda are fighting again!

… Over interior decorating options for the Castle Garthwyn ballroom.

Luckily, Kara steps in and chooses a decor combination that pleases them both. Phew.

Unfortunately, Lorren tells Kara that the monarchs outside are still arguing over who will mentor the party. I’m rather glad someone is thinking about helping the party with magic, since Henry Gardener totally dropped the ball on that. Kara insists that the party is doing fine on their own, but Raelda wants the party to have a mentor figure anyway.

Oh, and Raelda also hints that Lorren has a crush on Kara. I guess someone has a love interest!

Outside at the party, Musso and Sparky are selling cheese to all the guests. Adriane and Emily are also there, since the Ravenswood portal works again now. The girls all have pimped-out outfits that they procured from Kara’s magic wardrobe. No, I’m not going to start Pimped-Out Outfit Counts for the rest of the party, because they don’t get a whole lot of costume descriptions for the remainder of the series. We’ll just stick to what Kara’s wearing today: cream-colored linen drawstring capris with flowers embroidered on the hems, a pink tank top, and strappy off-white sandals. Hmm, more conservative than usual, I see.

Pimped-Out Kara Outfit Count: 8

Kara introduces the rest of the party to Lorren. Emily, being the other girly-girl of the group, comments on how cute Lorren is. Lorren reveals that he’s abandoned his Forest Prince persona, realizing that he could do more to help the Fairy Realms as the goblin prince. Tasha then shows up and is officially promoted to Tangoo’s old position.

Then, after a well-deserved “What the Hell, Heroine?” from all the monarchs, everyone starts arguing over who will appoint a mentor for the party. Ozzie says that he was chosen by the Fairimentals to mentor the party, but the monarchs say that Ozzie doesn’t know enough about magic to help the party. So the monarchs decide to ask Kara what she knows about magic. Kara says that magic comes from friendship and the heart, and to prove this she gives the monarchs of each kingdom one of the talismans she found made. The trolls get the bunny slippers, the elves get the air harp, the dwarves get the Heart of the Mountain quicksilver heart, and the goblins get the Sun Stone.

But wait, what about the fairies? Well, Kara and Tasha made them an elemental rose that combines the magic of all four elements. So yay, everyone’s happy.

Selinda is impressed by this, so she decides that everyone in the Fairy Realms will help the party on their quest. She gives the party access to all their resources, and presents Kara with the enchanted accessories. Kara apologizes for breaking a Power Crystal, and Lorren reassures her that the party will still find Avalon somehow.

And then everybody dances! And while everyone dances, Kara realizes that her Unicorn Jewel has changed: Starfire’s magic has mixed with hers.

Status Update!
Kara obtains: Unicorn Jewel +3!
Kara levels up!

Next time: Kettle chips — the best side dish … for REVENGE!

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 20: Stealing the Spotlight

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the first half of Chapter 14.)

Kara finds herself on stage in the middle of the school production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Her Unicorn Jewel is out of magic, but that’s not the worst thing going on.

The play is in total chaos. Adriane — still disguised as Kara — is hanging on to Marcus in a lovey-dovey way. Ozzie is attempting to do dragonfly damage control, and utterly failing. The Catty Girls are force-feeding Musso. Rae is chasing Kyle like a lovesick puppy. Oh, and the entire audience noticed that Kara suddenly popped into the play … and they think it’s part of the show. Kara recites some of her lines from the play, but Adriane fires Magic Missiles at her. Of course, with humans being stupid in this series, they just think that the Magic Missiles are some kind of special effects trick.

Thankfully, Emily dresses up as a wall (what?) and hides Kara from the audience, giving them the perfect opportunity to recap everything that’s happened so far. Oddly enough, the audience thinks that the unexpected appearance of a wall is all part of the show, too.

Kara summons Starfire so she can return to the Fairy Realms, and the fire horse appears! Turns out he’s not dead after all, because he found another Power Crystal to fuel him. So yay, the party knows where two Power Crystals are!

But wait — what about the obvious fire horse that’s somehow not burning down the entire school? Luckily, Emily takes off her costume and comes up with some BS about advertising the upcoming tourist season at Ravenswood. She then casts Dispel — which Kara amplifies — removing all spells from the cast and crew. The play continues as if nothing happened, and the Catty Girls back away from Musso because they think he’s a weirdo.

Kara then mounts Starfire, and the two ride out of the auditorium. And of course, nobody questions the existence of a bad-ass fire horse. Stupid humans.

Next time: Kara fights a boss with the Power of Friendship.

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 14: Middle School Shakespearean Actors in Love

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the first half of Chapter 10.)

So, um … Adriane is playing the part of Kara as Titania for the school play. I know, it doesn’t seem like the best idea, because Adriane is a brunette, probably has a different skin tone (come on, she’s half-Native American), and she obviously doesn’t sound like her. Luckily for her, Adriane got a blonde wig, Ozzie learned Throw Voice in the last book, and — as proven earlier — humans are stupid.

The new edition has a rather funny scene in which Ozzie tests out Throw Voice:

Adriane’s voice came out squeaky and high pitched.

“Gah!” Ozzie sputtered. “Needs some minor magical modulation.” He shook the stone and scrunched his whiskers in concentration.

“Check, test one, Prada,” Adriane spoke — in Kara’s voice! “Is it working?”

“Kara! You’re back!”

Adriane was startled by the sound of Heather’s voice. The red-haired girl eyed Kara closely. “Say, you sure you’re all right? You look taller.”

Adriane waved her magic wand and bonked Heather on the head. “Fly free, Fairy Codfish!”

“Cobweb! Geez, what’s with you?” the red-haired girl scurried back to the other fairies.

Adriane shrugged.

Later on, all the Catty Girls Molly and Tiffany run into Adriane backstage after Ozzie’s voice check, but all they seem to notice is that “Kara” is dressed strange. And by strange, I mean she’s wearing boots under that new fairy costume, and she’s “wearing contacts”. Rae eventually joins them and questions “Kara’s” new costume as well.

Unfortunately, the dragonflies are all sick. Musso — who I guess decided to join the party on this excursion — explains that they caught a bad spell from Goldie. That was probably from the spell vial Tangoo tossed earlier. And when the dragonflies get sick, they throw up magic sparkles all over Adriane, Rae, and the Catty Girls. The girls all fall in love with the first people they see — namely, Musso, Kyle, and Marcus the anthropomorphic donkey. Emily, who somehow didn’t get caught in this little instant-love fest, hides the dragonflies in her backpack to prevent more mayhem.

As even more proof that humans are stupid, the rest of the student body shows up for the play, and thinks that all the magical mayhem is part of the show. To quote one student, “Shakespeare rocks!”

Next time: Finally, some dungeon-crawling!

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 11: Catching Up Time

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the last half of Chapter 8.)

After that massive battle in Kara’s bedroom, Lorren drops Kara off at her room in the Fairy Palace. Lorren takes some time to explain that he uses his Forest Prince persona to work with the Fairy Underground, since he would be imprisoned if he was formally allied with them. He then offers to take Kara to Tangoo in the morning so she can finally tame the fire horse. Kara accepts Lorren’s offer, and then Lorren leaves.

Immediately afterwards, the enchanted toiletries demand a recap of Kara’s adventures at the Fairy Rave, so Kara obliges. She also starts worrying about taming the bad-ass fire horse, saving Lyra, and finding the Power Crystal before the Dark Sorceress does. In the original edition, Kara even thinks about why the party doesn’t tell anyone on Earth about magic:

None of the mages had told anyone — who’d believe them?

Hey, maybe bring back some of that magitech, or those magical creatures from Ravenswood! I know, the party assumes that the animals would be tested on by scientists … but I would think that biologists would want to see these animals in their natural habitats — i.e. Aldenmor, the Fairy Realms, etc. Once anyone sees the realms outside Earth, and all the humanoid creatures and fairy civilizations, then people will certainly believe the party!

All this thinking about serious matters prompts Kara to contact Emily back on Earth.

Emily is nice enough to recap everything that happened in the last chapter to Kara. She also explains that the dragonflies are redecorating Kara’s room — which may not be a good idea if you recall the events of “Dragonfly Wrangling 102” — and that Ozzie took Musso and Sparky to Ravenswood. Kara then admits that she has no idea what to do, and her desire to not have magic. Emily reassures Kara and tells her that the party loves her just the way she is.

Adriane decides to join the call, so Kara recaps all her adventures again! And then she goes over the plan to retrieve the Power Crystal. Adriane and Emily tell Kara that she’ll surely succeed in her quest, and that they’ll cover for Kara at the play tomorrow. And then the conference call ends.

Next time: Someone finally tells the party what’s inside Avalon.

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 10: Bedroom Crashers

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the first half of Chapter 8.)

Hey, remember that portal in Kara’s closet? Well, it opened up during that fairy rave, and Lorren threw a bulwoggle through it. Unfortunately, it means that Adriane, Emily, and Musso have to prepare for a battle.

So Adriane battles the bulwoggle by firing some Magic Missiles, while Musso lobs some random spell vials. More magical creatures emerge from the portal, including an anthropomorphic fox named Cotax Colfax, who just happens to be a member of the Fairy Underground. He helps the party subdue the bulwoggle, then returns all the unearthly creatures back to the Fairy Realms via the portal. Musso and Sparky, however, fail to make it to the portal before it closes. And according to Tweek’s calculations, the portal won’t reopen for another three years.

Hmm … if Shadow Warrior ever gets released, will this portal be used again?

As even more proof that humans are stupid in this series, Kara’s nameless mom overhears the entire battle … and only yells at the party to keep the noise down. Gee, you’d think she’d notice that her guests are casting Magic Missile and totally trashing Kara’s bedroom! Granted, Emily did cast Remove Fear on Kara’s mom during the battle, so that’s probably why she doesn’t question what the party was up to.

Interesting note: Tweek explains how portals work in the Avalon universe. Portals connect two locations through the astral planes. Good to know.

Next time: Kara recaps everything to the party.

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 7: Someone’s Got Some Explaining to Do

(If you’re reading the original edition, you won’t find this chapter. Sorry.)

Rehearsal’s over on Earth, and Adriane and Emily are sitting on top of a fretting Musso. Musso claims that he needs to find a portal, so Emily casts Remove Fear so they can release him. Now freed, Musso explains that he threw a polymorph spell-vial earlier, which somehow turned Marcus into an anthropomorphic donkey. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what the effects of the spell were, because he couldn’t read the labels on his vials!

As more proof that humans are stupid in this series, Marcus returns home, thinking he feels perfectly normal. Dude, you have a donkey’s head now. That’s not normal.

Musso then talks about the portal in Kara’s bedroom, which is tuned to the Unicorn Jewel. That probably explains why Kara was pulled into it earlier. Tweek then contacts the party, and informs them that the portal will reopen later tonight!

This chapter is a welcome addition to the revision, because it explains a bunch of stuff that’s not clarified. Now we know what Musso’s spell vials do, how the other students reacted to magical mayhem, and how that portal in Kara’s bedroom works. And we have a reason for the rest of the party to return to Kara’s place, which I will discuss further later on.

Status Update!
Musso learned: Polymorph Other!

Next time: Kara gets a Pimped-Out Closet.

All’s Fairy in Love and War, Chapter 5: Hilarity Ensues

(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the last half of Chapter 4 and the first half of Chapter 5 all smushed together.)

Kara, Queen Selinda, King Oriel, and Tangoo head for the Fairy Stables, where Kara’s new horse is housed. These stables are so awesome that they get a description in the new edition:

It was a large rectangular building created from living trees. What looked like giant oaks stood at each corner of the stable, their branches interweaving like logs to form the walls. Inside, rows of stalls lined the corridor, each gleaming with golden bark and lush leaves in countless shades of green.

Inside, Kara is introduced to two Elemental Horses: a green one with flowers sprouting out of its mane, and a silvery-blue one. Unfortunately, these are bonded to Selinda and Oriel respectively, so they won’t let Kara ride them. Instead, Kara is herded to an ominous glass stall metal cage, which contains something that breathes fire. Kara feels some sort of magical connection to it … because whatever’s inside is her horse.

But enough about badass fire horses. Let’s see what the rest of the party is up to!

Adriane and Emily finally reach the school auditorium, where everything is in chaos. In the new edition, they bring the dragonflies along to detect magic for them:

Offering magical assistance, Fred and Fiona popped their little heads out of Emily’s backpack, scanning the scene with brightly swirling jeweled eyes.

“Anything?” the red-haired mage asked the minis.


“Double nope.”

Wait … when did the dragonflies start talking in complete sentences?

Rae, the play’s director, is pissed that Kara is “sick” and Joey isn’t in costume yet. Joey ducks out, and just in time, because Kyle and Musso show up. All the other students are idiots and think that Musso is Joey in costume as Puck.

Musso, of course, has no idea that he’s at a play rehearsal. He sees the Fairy Ring set — which conveniently looks like the real Fairy Ring in the Fairy Realms — and thinks that it’s the real thing until he discovers that there’s no magic mirror present. Rae makes Musso recite Titania’s lines in Kara’s place, but he refuses and instead tries to curry favor with Adam, who’s playing Oberon. Naturally, Rae tells Musso to shut the hell up. Musso now thinks that the Fairy Ring has been compromised, so he takes a spell vial from his utility belt and lobs it at Adam.

Luckily, Adriane was detecting magic, so she and Emily cast Shield on Adam. Musso’s spell is deflected offstage, creating a bunch of lighting effects that Adriane attributes to the stage crew. Of course, the kids all buy this explanation.

Unfortunately, the spell hit Marcus … and now he’s an anthropomorphic donkey. Makes sense, I guess, because he’s playing Nick Bottom. But still … anthropomorphic donkey. I wonder how the party’s going to explain this?

Status Update!
Emily learned: Shield!

Next time: this very NSFW video.