Dark Mage, Chapter 7: Let’s Disregard the Old Man Who Obviously Knows Something We Don’t

Last time on Dark Mage, Kara’s party arrived at the Unicorn Academy and discovered that all the unicorns jumped through a random portal. Whose scenario will we look into this time? Find out after the cut.

I guess we’re doing Emily’s scenario now, because she and Ozzie arrive at the Fairy Realms bearing gifts from Kara. It’s not specified what the gifts are, but I’m going to assume it’s more hair gel. Geez, was Kara in charge of getting supplies for the party this time around?

Anyway, Emily is greeted by Selinda, Raelda, Lorren, and all the other rulers of the Fairy Realms. Everyone wants a quest status update, so Selinda is kind enough to give one. A Power Crystal was discovered on the borders of the Fairy Realms, and everyone agrees that shit will hit the fan if the Spider Witch obtains it. However, nobody can agree on how to stop the Spider Witch from getting the crystal, or what to do with the crystal if they get it. Ragnar suggests attacking the Spider Witch’s lair, but the lair can only be accessed via magic mirrors, and the mirrors at the lair were deactivated after Kara went dungeon-crawling through it in All’s Fairy in Love and War. He also wonders if the party should use whatever Power Crystals they do have to attempt opening the Gates of Avalon, or — as Grethal suggets — to use them as weapons against the Spider Witch. Raelda thinks that the party should complete their quest, but Voraxx reminds everyone that the party can’t enter the Very Definitely Final Dungeon with only eight crystals.

To complicate matters, the Fairy Realms aren’t in the best of shape: their magic has almost run out, and it’s all the Original Party’s fault. And there’s fairy quakes (essentially, Wild Magic outbreaks) all over the realm. Also, nobody is sure what is inside Avalon, or if Avalon even exists. So Landiwren asks Emily if she thinks Avalon exists. Emily remembers that everyone in the party has seen the Gates of Avalon before, but they all saw different things: Adriane saw a crystal city, Kara saw a mist-covered island, and Emily was on a tropical island. Of course, Emily can’t really say that to the monarchs, so she makes a rousing speech instead:

“I don’t know what lies beyond the gates. I don’t even know what Avalon is.”


“But I do know this. The Spider Witch tried to take Ravenswood, and she failed. Ravenswood now has a new protector, strong and good. The Dark Sorceress tried to turn Marina, the water Fairimental, evil. And she failed. The Garden in Aldenmor stands strong.”


“I used to think magic was impossible […] But I have met a guardian of Avalon. My paladin is the Heart of Avalon. My friends and I have been chosen to find Avalon. And I have learned that just because something seems impossible, doesn’t mean it is. I believe there is magic in Avalon. I need you to believe with me. Because where there is magic there is hope.”

Thankfully, Emily has really high Charisma, because the speech convinces the monarchs to let the party continue their quest as planned.

Of course, there’s always one ancient man in the crowd who has to spoil everyone’s fun. His name is Olfert, and he’s an old mole man who announces that opening the Gates of Avalon is a Bad Idea. Apparently Avalon is Sealed Evil in a Can, because the last time a party tried opening the Gates, bad things happened.

Emily remembers that the Original Party attempted to open the Gates of Avalon, so she puts two and two together and realizes that Avalon must have dark magic inside. However, when she asks Lorren about Olfert’s message, Lorren just tells her to ignore it.

Instead, Lorren announces that he and the Fairy Underground (remember them?) will ride on their giant flying bats to the Power Crystal’s location. Emily updates Tasha on her status, and then flies off with the rest of the party.

Next time: We learn something about Drake that really pisses me off.


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