(If you’re reading the original edition, this is the last half of Chapter 13.)
*looks up at post title* It’s times like these that I wish the party actually had a bad-ass name. Do they even get one? I know the original edition calls them The Three, but that’s so … I don’t know … boring? (And kinda inaccurate, because Ozzie always tags along.)
Anyway, shit hits the fan.
Kara’s little magic show opens up the portal — which is quite a ways away from the concert, thankfully. This also exposes the Protection from Evil dreamcatcher, which also acts like an amplifier for Kara’s spellsong (wow, isn’t that convenient). Not!Johnny reveals the Fairy Map, which floats to Kara and activates. And by activate, I mean that a bunch of portals on the Magic Web realign themselves.
Kara, however, doesn’t want this to happen. Now realizing that not!Johnny is manipulating her, Kara reaches out to Lyra, which somehow weakens Johnny’s hold on her. (Okay, not “somehow”; I think I already explained that bonded animals give mages resistance to Charm.) With newfound strength, Kara tries to change the lyrics to the song:
A web of lies
spunspins so fast
I won’t listen anymoreI was blinded by your night
IWe can see through youthe truth at last
Close the door, close the door…Let’s all shine our light!
Not!Johnny gets really pissed and causes the Cursed Locket to flash so brightly that it burns Kara. The rest of the party finally notice what’s controlling Kara, and they bum rush the stage! And in the new edition, we finally get our Gotta Get Backstage beat-em-up scene:
Emily and Adriane raced to the stage. Security guards converged on them.
“You have to let us through!” Adriane demanded.
“We told you, no one’s allowed on stage during the show!”
“Perhaps you’d like to talk to the ones that run this place.” Emily stepped aside to reveal Stormbringer and Lyra.
The animals bared their teeth and growled fiercely.
“Whoa!” The guard jumped back at the sight of the huge silver wolf and the large spotted cat. “No problem!”
Adriane pulled the animals back. “Thanks, guys. We’ll take it from here.”
Aww, what? No actual beat-em-up sequence? That sucks.
Eventually Adriane reaches Kara, tears the locket from Kara’s neck, and crushes it under her boot. Yay, Kara’s been dispelled! But there’s still all this warped, dark magic in the air — the magic Kara generated from the spellsong she sang earlier. Kara wants to stop Johnny somehow, but she’s too weak to do it alone. Luckily, Adriane pulls out her guitar, and Emily has her flute. So you know what’s coming up next….
Boss: Johnny Conrad?
Okay, he’s actually a
Skrull Skultum with awesome spellsinging and shapeshifting powers. Good luck.
Attacks: Charm, Confuse, Summon Astral Beast
I’m not going to bother describing the battle in detail. Instead, you can watch this clip from Scott Pilgrim, which has better music. (You can turn off the 3D effect by clicking the 3D button.)
In case you’re wondering: yes, the party and not!Johnny do summon gigantic astral beasts with their singing in the book. Also, Emily plays Lorelei’s Song to dispel one of Johnny’s songs. (When did Lorelei’s Song start acting like a Mass Dispel instead of just summoning Lorelei?) Oh, and don’t forget that Ozzie’s trying to keep the Fairy Map away from not!Johnny during the entire battle.
For you Jewel Riders fans out there: a similar music battle takes place in the episode “Home Sweet Heartstone”. The Jewel Riders play the show’s theme song in order to turn a group of magical baby animals away from Kale’s pseudo-gothic-metal music. Unfortunately, there’s no bad-ass astral beasts (poo!).
Anyway, the party wins by singing “Spirit of Avalon”, which weakens not!Johnny and forces him to reveal his true form. Not!Johnny then shapeshifts into a bat, which the party promptly sends into the portal with a quick Improved Magic Missile. Notice that they didn’t kill him — this obviously means Not!Johnny is gonna come back as a more powerful and annoying boss later! (And yes, he does. This is one of the few times the trope does apply in the series.)
Of course, the audience thinks this entire magic battle was an awesome laser-light show, and they give the party a rousing round of applause. Kara then invites all the contest finalists to join the party in a chorus of
“Supernatural High” “Spirit of Avalon”:
Emily learns: Lorelei’s Song (Mass Dispel remix)!
Kara loses: Cursed Locket of Mind Raping!
The party obtains: Fairy Map!
Next time: the party cleans up the preserve, like good pre-teen girls with magic powers.